I was too ill to post much in July so didn't do a Happy List last month which meant I couldn't report on June's progress but that's probably a good thing because I only did about half the things on the list because I got ill so I'm going to be less ambitious and limit it to 5 things. This month I really need to sort my life out! I've had a month or two of feeling unhappy and worried about things and I think I've wallowed enough now haha. The worries are all CF-related, usually I'm very good at ignoring them but I think this is actually unhealthy because then when I can't block them out they're like 10x worse because they've been suppressed for too long. I don't want to tell people because I don't want them to worry about me when everyone has their own worries to deal with anyway! And I don't want to look whiney or ungrateful because I do have a lot to be thankful for, which makes me feel so guilty whenever I feel sad. So I sometimes end up in this cycle of worry and guilt that just spirals but I have to say Faye's post seriously helped me. Yes there are people iller than me but I need to stop comparing myself to other people with CF because this doesn't take away the fact that I'm still ill and CF sucks so sometimes it is ok to be pissed off about it. It's only natural and totally acceptable to feel that way occasionally (especially when there are people having absolute meltdowns over stupid things like broken straighteners or late trains or 'issues' in the blogging world that are actually not that big a deal.) But it's not good to stay stuck worrying about things and one thing I've found that helps me a lot is having plans. I know from the past that CF puts a stop to a lot of them so I'm prepared for that to happen...it's just good to make them and if they go wrong there's always different plans to make (when one door closes and all that!) This month I'm going to try and improve my life because there are definitely things I can do to make it better:
- Book a driving lesson. I've been saying this every month this year but still haven't gotten round to it! I don't know why I'm so terrified about getting behind the wheel but I need to get over it because everyone else around me are passing their tests so I need to catch up! It'll be so good to be able to get myself to hospital appointments and things so I really need to do it.
- Go swimming. I do exercises indoors but I need to up my game because exercise is so important when it comes to treating CF. The trouble is I'm not a fan at all but so many people have said swimming has helped them so I want to give it a go!
- Look into college courses. I had to quit my job in retail because the long hours and being on my feet the whole time was too tiring but I think if I had a job where I'd be sitting on my butt all day I'd be way more capable of doing it so I think an admin course or something will be a good idea. We shall see!
- Book a First Aid course. This is something me and my Mum are going to do. It's so important to learn it, something I've only just really realised after my brother got ill...it really is a life-saving skill.
- Carry on reading. I've done well with this and gotten through a big chunk of my reading list...next up is The Book Thief.
So that's my list! What are your plans for August?