Sick day selfie with Freddydog
Hi! How are you? I don't even know how anyone is because I haven't read blogs for a bit (my bloglovin' feed is ridiculously long now!) so do tell me...I wanna catch up!
I miss reading blogs but I've basically felt too pooped to even sit on the laptop, reading is too much effort haha. I've mainly been bingewatching The Sopranos because it's only on the Sky iplayer thing until October and there are 86 episodes to get through! My brother has the boxset but he broke the disc with the last episode of Season 3 on it so I just have to get through three seasons and then there's no rush to watch them all in time. It's so good but I did watch a little too much and now all my thoughts in my head are in their accents and there's a lot of swearing going on in my brain too. Like when I'm reading this back it's like 'I miss reading blawgs.' A bit annoying, I don't understand my weird mind!
I definitely went off on a tangent there but I do have an excuse for being such a couch potato though. I got some cold thing that's gone to my chest so now I have to start IVs on Thursday even though my last dose was only just over a month ago. I usually don't care because that's just life but this is like the worst week to be ill. My CF nurse isn't there this week, my parents are away and this weekend is one I've been looking forward to for ages! It's rare that me and my two best friends all get to be together and we've had a big night out planned for ages for my friend's birthday and now I'm ruining it because I'm going to be too tired and dopey from IVs to go out properly and no cocktails for me either. I just feel so bad because it's my best mate's birthday thing and she's so nice and understanding because she's saying how we don't have to go out but still. It makes me feel so guilty when my CF affects other people, no one ever makes me feel like a burden or anything but I just think it's not fair that it should affect them too. Especially my Mum, so much of her life revolves around looking after me. I mean I'm not a baby, I can look after myself but when I'm ill like now for instance she does the big things like taking me to hospital and the little things like holding my hair back when I'm throwing up from coughing so hard (which happens like at least twice a day...noiiiiice.) She's a massive help when I'm on IVs because she'll do the night time or morning dose so I can rest. Everyone says their mum is the best but mine really is, she deserves like a trophy or something.
I've been constantly ill for a couple of months now, I mean I'm never 'well' but this is like ill ill. I feel too rubbish to do anything most days apart from all my medicines and physio plus extra to try and feel better which is really tiring and time consuming. I've decided to try and put thoughts of a job out of my head for the time being, I'm no good to any employer right now anyway because I'll just be calling in sick all the time! And I'm lucky enough to not need to worry about money because I have savings and things for rainy days such as these. I work because I want to not because I need to (so anyone that wants to think I'm being lazy or workshy or whatever can ssh because I loved having a job, even if it was just a silly part time shop thing.) Right now I need to concentrate on getting better and keeping my lungs as well as possible...my lung function has frequently been low (like between 30-40% for anyone with CF reading) and I think that with a lot of hard work I can get it back up, I mean last summer my highest was 50 something percent which was brilliant because I hadn't seen numbers like that for years! To get back to that would be amazing so that's my goal even though I don't think it'll be easy.
But aside from feeling ill I'm still feeling jolly! There's lots of good things to be happy about, like my driving lessons (even though I had to cancel this week) and my latest plan is to make Christmas cards for my Etsy store to sell for the CF Trust this year. I need to work it all out and that but I'd love to raise some awareness and money towards funding new research! I think I'll probably not blog for a week or so because IVs will most likely zombify me but I'll probably catch up on my blog reading at some point even if I feel to knackered to comment.
Until then, have a fab week!